LifestyleThe 'Bird Test': Can one question predict relationship success?

The 'Bird Test': Can one question predict relationship success?

The TikToker praises the "bird test."
The TikToker praises the "bird test."
Images source: © Instagram | alyssacardib

3:01 PM EST, November 9, 2023

Ever wondered if there's a way to predict the likelihood of your relationship facing early dissolution or having many joyful years of marriage ahead? It appears that couples who fail the "bird test" have an increased risk of breaking up within the first six years.

Alyssa, a TikToker with a following of nearly 140,000, postulates that a single question has the power to reflect the health of our relationships. She contends that the "bird test" yields insights not only into romantic ties but also familial connections and friendships. Her faith in the test is implicit - she insists it "never fails".

A potential determinant of successful relationships

In one of her videos, Alyssa details her use of this test with all her acquaintances and potential partners ever since discovering it.

"The test is typically designed for assessing romantic relationships, yet I apply it even to my friends and family members - basically anyone I meet," she elucidates.

To simplify the test's understanding, Alyssa provided an example.

"How exactly does it work? Most recently, while drinking coffee with a new friend, I spotted a woodpecker in a tree. Surprised, I pointed out the woodpecker, to which my friend responded with interest," she expounds.

For the ensuing ten minutes, the pair viewed the bird and looked up intriguing facts about the species. Alyssa interpreted this engaged reaction as a positive sign. Through sharing an off-the-cuff topic with another person, she ascertains if the other person reciprocates her interest and continues the conversation.

Research on the test by a psychologist

The "bird test" finds its origins in the work of psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who coined his study as "the bid for attention". It serves to indicate to our partner our desire for them to take an interest in something that piques our curiosity.

The objective of this test is to gauge whether the other party is willing to engage in conversation, even on an auxiliary topic, or whether they dismiss it outright, hence not sharing the other's interest. While it cannot be asserted that the test is entirely foolproof, it undeniably acts as an effective indicator when stepping into new relationships.

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