LifestyleSmartphones in bed? How devices are killing intimacy

Smartphones in bed? How devices are killing intimacy

"Parallel scrolling" also affects our sexual lives.
"Parallel scrolling" also affects our sexual lives.
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12:54 PM EDT, May 11, 2024

We often choose a smartphone over engaging in conversation with a loved one. We gaze at our cell phone screens "automatically," neglecting the need for tenderness and the effort required to build a strong relationship with another person here and now rather than in the virtual world.

Today, smartphones are our constant companions. We incessantly check notifications, browse through social media, or look up information from around the globe. While smartphones have facilitated our connections with distant people, they've simultaneously deteriorated our connections with those physically close to us.

"Parallel scrolling" is damaging relationships

"Parallel scrolling," the act of both partners simultaneously scrolling through their smartphones, can detrimentally affect their relationship, including their sexual life. Excessive screen time consumes our leisure moments. This habit persists even in the presence of our significant other. We struggle to disconnect from our devices, even when in bed or lounging on the couch, making the smartphone an unwelcome third wheel in our relationship.

Our desire to stay current means we're bombarded with app notifications. It's hardly surprising that by day's end, we're overstimulated and less inclined toward intimacy.

– Continuous phone use, especially parallel scrolling, hinders our ability to share experiences, feelings, and concerns. It erects a barrier between us, thwarting the development of a bond – says therapist Tracy Ross in an interview with "HuffPost".

How can we counter this?

Setting aside our phones to spend quality time with our partners is beneficial. Establishing mutual smartphone usage rules, such as limited use on weekends, can facilitate this. Why not have an offline evening? A night free from the urge to check your phone. Pursuing a shared hobby can also occupy your combined free time productively. Whether learning a new dance, jogging outdoors, or joining a book club, shared activities can strengthen your bond.

Another effective strategy is temporarily muting notifications. This allows you to dedicate time exclusively to each other without the disruption of constant beeping, ensuring uninterrupted quality moments, like watching a movie together or enjoying a meal.