She witnessed 2000 deaths: revealing what the dying regret
Sarah Wells, a palliative care doctor, has been there during the final moments for over 2000 individuals. She shares the most common regrets expressed by people in their last moments of life.
Death is an unavoidable part of our existence. Despite the natural fear associated with it, Sarah Wells aims to demystify it, reassuring patients that it's expected to be afraid. She maintains that far more frightening than death itself, is the sudden realization that we have not lived our lives as we wanted. This is a reflection shared by many of her patients.
Death: natural, normal, and sometimes beautiful
Sarah Wells, currently serving as the medical director at Marie Curie Hospice in Solihull, West Midlands, shared some of her experiences during an interview with The Telegraph. She reflected on the most frequent revelations from patients in their final hours.
It was clear from the start that, after years in the profession, she viewed death as "natural, normal, and often beautiful." She referred to the final hours of life as a period "full of exceptional moments and humility."
She often tries to comfort the relatives of dying patients. "We recently had one patient, a woman with heart failure, who was terrified due to losing her father to the same condition."
However, by conversation with Wells, she found solace. "We reassured her that dying is generally a peaceful process. People typically become sleepier, and their organ functions slow down. They can still hear and feel, even when they can no longer communicate."
Understanding this can alleviate much of the fear surrounding dying. "When people understand this, a significant part of their fear subsides. Unfortunately, this doesn’t necessarily alleviate feelings of regret."
Common regrets on the deathbed
During the final hours of life, people are usually reflective. Wells admits that the most common regret she hears is not spending enough time with her family.
"No one has ever said they wish they spent more time at work. Prioritizing career over family time is often a great cause of sadness." - she added.
She shared the story of a fellow doctor who, on his deathbed, wished he hadn't spent Christmas working or postponed vacations with his loved ones. "Looking back, I realize it was meaningless," he expressed.
Through her work, Wells has gained many insights.
"I'm not afraid of death. I know it will happen and I'll make sure to be surrounded by the people I love. This work has shown me that our relationships with loved ones are what matter the most."
