Navigating first dates: Tips for making a great first impression
Today's dating scene looks entirely different from how it did a decade or two ago. With the rise of the Internet and various apps, meeting new people is increasingly shifting online. Regardless of our experiences or approaches to dating, everyone wants to know how to conduct themselves on a first date. What should we talk about, and what should we consider when planning that initial meeting?
1:19 PM EDT, September 6, 2024
First: Both sides should make an effort
We all dream of an ideal date inspired by romantic comedies, but reality doesn't always match our expectations. Even if the setup isn't perfect, everyone hopes to avoid those awkward silences.
It's important to understand that both parties are responsible for the date's success. Keeping the conversation engaging shouldn't fall on just one person. If one person makes all the effort to initiate conversation while the other gives brief responses without asking questions, it's probably a sign you're not on the same wavelength.
Second: Relax in case of failure
Meeting someone online doesn't always predict how they will behave in person. If the date doesn't go as planned, relax and don't view it as a failure. This mindset helps avoid disappointment and sadness. Remember, perfect dates are pretty rare.
How to make a good impression? First: Choose the right place
Choosing the right place and time is fundamental. If you have a hectic day and feel exhausted by 10:00 PM, don't schedule a date for 9:30 PM. Selecting a suitable location is crucial for a first meeting. Opt for a place that encourages relaxed conversation. Loud restaurants or clubs can make it difficult to talk and concentrate, and being attentive in such environments might be unrealistic.
Learn what type of meeting the other person prefers and choose a location together. Jointly deciding on the place can reveal a lot about your potential partner.
Second: Focus not only on talking but also on listening
Both speaking and listening are vital to having a genuine, sincere, and comfortable conversation. Listening skills are highly valued. Don't interrupt; allow the other person to finish their sentence, fostering a sense of respect and patience.
Third: Show curiosity
Take an interest in what the other person is saying. Instead of changing the subject when they talk passionately about something, ask follow-up questions to show your curiosity.
How to talk on a first date? Honestly and without pretense
Whether there will be a second date often hinges on how the first one goes. While it's natural to want to make a great impression, sometimes this leads to pretending to be someone we're not. Adults, not just children, can fall into the trap of showing off. Unfortunately, this often backfires.
Being authentic works much better. Creating fictional versions of ourselves only adds extra stress. Eventually, the other person will notice that you weren't being genuine.
Ask about what you want to know
A date is not a job interview, but it's worthwhile to ask a potential partner a few important questions. Everyone has different values, interests, and preferences. If you find that you have nothing in common early on, the chances of the relationship developing further are slim.
Don't speak negatively about exes
Everyone has past relationships, some more successful than others. If the topic of ex-partners comes up, don't hide it, but refrain from badmouthing them. It reflects poorly on you.
Discuss light topics
Questions about hobbies, travel, favorite films or TV shows, or favorite dishes are excellent topics for a first date. Avoid bringing up serious subjects that require lengthy explanations, involve complex plots, or are emotionally challenging.
Don't be too open
Even if you're naturally open and want to lay all your cards on the table, consider whether this is the right approach for a first date. Everyone has different levels of comfort with openness and may not want to share everything right away. Avoid prying into very private details of your potential partner, and don't overshare yourself – it could be overwhelming.