Intimacy post-argument: A coping mechanism or communication deterrent in relationships?
While intimacy plays a crucial role in relationships, the experts highlighted that turning to sex post-argument may not always be the ideal solution.
Swapping conversation for sex: A common fear
Psychotherapist Jessica Kmieć noted that several couples, in the face of negative emotions, are often incapable of, and genuinely scared of having a difficult conversation. "We fear conflicts in relationships, but they are a natural and inevitable part of relationships," the expert elucidated.
Moving on, Kmieć stressed the importance of discussing what transpired earlier, establishing a common stance, and solving any ambiguities for effective problem-solving in a relationship.
"Then, sex can serve as the icing on the cake, cementing the agreement. Firstly, we address what hurts us, annoys us, and then we can conclude the unpleasant situation in a pleasing manner," she concluded.
Psychologist Karolina Flacht echoed Jessica Kmieć's sentiments, pointing out that the reconciliation process can often be protracted for couples.
"All those who have ever slept on the sofa clutching a pillow or avoided their partner's gaze, or had silent days in a relationship, know that these bursts lead to problems accumulating, resulting in cumulative stress that needs an outlet," explained the expert.
Resolve conflicts before indulging in intimacy
Psychologist Bartosz Śląski stressed that conflicts should be addressed prior to deciding on intimate moments.
"While physical intimacy can certainly foster closeness, people report feeling more connected when they are equipped to solve issues," he commented.
Śląski clarified that although the tension post 'make-up sex' might decrease, silent days can still prevail in a relationship due to various reasons. "The continuous apprehension from one partner doesn't foster growth in a relationship. It's essential to remember that so-called reconciliation sex can adversely affect our relationships."
"Transferring strong emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment, regret or indignation into the bedroom is indeed not the solution to our problems. We might resort to this out of fear of conflict, in a misguided attempt to soothe the situation, but it simply brushes the problem under the carpet," Jessica Kmieć further explained.
Once again, the psychotherapist emphasized the importance of addressing conflicts on an ongoing basis and highlighting communication skills in case of disagreements.
