Increasing numbers are falling victim to "negging", a calculated tactic by a partner

Maintaining a healthy relationship isn't always straightforward. Over time, relationship issues can subtly develop, and one may not even notice them. One such issue is 'negging,' a deliberate action executed by a partner. But what exactly is this behavior, and how can one defend oneself against it?

Every relationship inevitably enters a phase where communication issues arise. Although many couples can resolve these issues together, failing to recognize and acknowledge a mistake can further complicate the situation. 

Dr. Justine Weber, an expert who specializes in trauma therapy and treating people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, frequently notes instances of negging in her patients’ relationships. She recently shed light on this idea through a TikTok explanation.

Dr. Justine Weber defines Negging as a "subtle tactic" that could be mistaken for harmless teasing or a peculiar sense of humor. However, it's a slyly orchestrated technique of flirting, where seemingly positive comments come with a sting in the tail, undermining the person's self-esteem. This form of emotional abuse gradually intensifies, severely damaging the other person's psyche.

'Negging' has been gaining popularity, particularly among men, who use subtle yet biting remarks to win over their desired partner. It's often seen in long-term relationships too.

"Negging aims to sow seeds of self-doubt, making you question your worth. Even though it might not readily seem familiar, you have definitely encountered it before," Dr. Weber pointed out.

This strategy is used by manipulators to shake the other person's self-assuredness in order to gain their control more easily.

"Phrases such as 'You look so nice, but only when you put on makeup', 'Your friends are in great shape, you should exercise with them too', 'I'm surprised how smart you are, I didn't expect that', or 'I don't understand why you like this genre of music, it's so bad'—these are classic examples of negging," Dr. Weber elucidated.

Dr. Justine Weber points out that people with narcissistic personality disorders tend to use this technique, instead of providing constructive feedback, to impose their dominance and make the other person feel insignificant. Narcissists leverage this method to render their partners unsure and more manipulable. She further emphasizes the importance of being aware of five signs of a partner engaging in 'negging.'

"Such individuals frequently give mixed compliments that seem positive on the surface but are laced with hidden criticism. They relentlessly probe into your insecurities and persist in asserting their superiority over you. Their criticism is far from being constructive and often comes off as brutal. They constantly compare you to others. It's an insidiously manipulative behavior that serves as a significant warning sign," the specialist stressed.