After the breakup, she invited him to bed. She quickly regretted it

Gaslighting is a specific form of psychological manipulation, in which the perpetrator or group of perpetrators tries to create in the victim the belief that what they feel or think is not true, did not happen, or looked completely different. As a result, the person being manipulated begins to distrust their own feelings and views, and feels confused, disoriented, and uncertain. Thanks to such an attitude of the victim, the manipulator can easily take control over them and wield power.

Magdalena Piotrowska, a psychologist and psychotherapist, spoke about one of the situations she encountered in her practice. Her patient was in a relationship with a man who had a tendency to break up with her whenever conflict arose. As the expert says, after a few days, as the emotions cooled down, the man returned to his partner who, despite experiencing violence, was willing to forgive him.

However, one time, when the man threw her out of the house in the middle of the night, the woman decided she wouldn't let him come back. In response to this, the man found a new partner within a few days. He didn't inform his ex about this, still maintaining that he loved her and was willing to undergo therapy to learn how to handle his fits of aggression and uncontrolled emotional outbursts.

At the same time, he was seeing a new partner and leading a double life. When the patient discovered this, she decided to break up with him for good. Meanwhile, the man was convincing her that since he is not formally in a relationship with any of the women, there is nothing wrong with maintaining both relationships.

- The second woman, who thought she was the man's new partner, found out she was part of a triangle. Despite this, she believed the man's assurances that he had the right to sleep with both of them, because he was not in a relationship with either one. He likewise had the right to convince both women that he loved them - Piotrowska explained

Magdalena Piotrowska emphasizes that gaslighting is an extremely harmful form of manipulation. Used for a long time, especially in close partner relationships, it causes the victim to lose their sense of self-worth, and trust in their own judgments, and often also disorientation about what they feel and what they know about the world. As a result, a person who tolerates gaslighting somewhat sentences themselves to be subordinate to an abusive partner.

How to fight gaslighting? - It's good in such a situation to consult a close person, and ask for their opinion. However, the most effective method of fighting gaslighting is unmasking the manipulator, and telling the truth. Then you can protect yourself from manipulation and save yourself from a toxic relationship - advises the expert.