A sex therapist sharing what she never does before getting intimate
Are you struggling to find time for sex while always on the go? Sex therapist Dr. Aline Zoldbrod discusses what's worked for her. She recommends this advice to all couples past their initial infatuation stage.
12:53 PM EST, November 11, 2023
While it might seem unromantic, planning for sex rather than leaving it to spontaneous occurrences is a tool even sexologists use. Dr. Aline Zoldbrod has benefited from a sexual intimacy schedule for years. She urges that it has several advantages, with one in particular being astounding.
Scheduling sex on your calendar
According to the sexual health expert, the secret is to find not only a time and place for sex, but also a moment when both partners are emotionally prepared and interested in intimacy.
- The technique I've consistently used in my relationships (both during my marriage to my late husband and in my current relationship), involves creating a schedule where sex becomes a priority - explains Dr. Aline Zoldbrod, a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor.
Leading a busy life doesn't lend itself well to setting a romantic mood. Work, responsibilities, social media - there are plenty of distractions. Unplanned time is often wasted - Zoldbrod clarifies.
She preferred making love to her husband over dinner with friends
The specialist emphasizes that planning for sex doesn't imply that intercourse must be dull.
- You may wonder: "Who does that? Nobody on TV or in the movies does that!". But bear in mind, most romantic situations we see in the media depict people in the early stages of a relationship, a stage where desire is at its peak. During this stage, no one needs to plan for sex because it just happens, Aline Zoldbrod illustrates. Don't expect that to last forever - she continues.
She further explains that scheduling intercourse allows us to better prepare, such as by avoiding heavy meals.
- Planning for sex probably means you'll organize your life more mindfully - the expert suggests. - Few of us really feel like making love after a large meal and a few drinks. Usually, we just want to head to bed. Some of us may even experience mild indigestion - she states.
- When my children were young, my friends would sometimes label me asocial. But I was merely declining their invitations to go out on weekend evenings when we wanted to have sex. I preferred to eat something light quickly and then put the kids to bed. It allowed us time for the kind of sex we desired. Conscious, calm, and replete with delightful foreplay.
